I heard it again the other day …..

“My Story isn’t very interesting it doesn’t convey anything that others would want to know”.

What is interesting about this statement is that up until that moment, as the person was talking, they were mentioning many things that connected them to a broader human experience, and demonstrated the Creator at work within their life.

I was that person not to many years ago. I would listen to someone talk about their redemption from a drug addicted violent life and I would think that person can talk all day about how God changed them, how successful they now were, and people will listen and be in awe. “That person” has a powerful story and I have a boring story.

Raised in church, went to a Christian school, parents were Christians and so on a so forth. This was the so-called boring story I had in my head about myself.

My view was all wrong, and so was my motivation. The story wasn’t for me it was others to see how much God cared, because my story was and is laced with redemptions, creativity, and pain. 

We all have amazing stories that have a person somewhere waiting to hear them, but the first person that needs hear that story is you.

Most all human beings  share the same fundamental ability to engage in the stories of others.

One of the fundamental desires of people is to be known. When people don’t feel known they live in dissonance or disconnection between their outer lives, and their inner lives. Hiding sometimes in a pseudo intimate fashion in their relationships (being only partially known). People deep down want to be known, but are afraid for many reasons to reveal themselves for fear of rejection, criticism, or abandonment.

 

Telling your own story helps you to move past the place of disconnection and dissonance. 

If your heart is passionate about something……..anything…… then what does that  tell about you. You didn’t get that passion by accident. Iit grew out of your story. Your life sometimes seems “to normal” because that is what you have known for so long.

I am here to tell you that your life is full of amazing things that can help you and others live more vital lives. Like a singer who suddenly gets found and made famous, you too have a story inside of you waiting to be told to someone.

Some people do not tell their stories because they don’t want to be seen as “narcissistic” or they don’t want to be “vulnerable” to those around them. Your story can be a gift of life for someone out their. We live in an increasingly isolated, and anxious society that needs connection and human interaction desperately. Your story can be that connection.

In learning to be counselor I was asked to explore  my own story in as much detail as possible and recognize my own journey as valuable, vulnerable, and in need of recognition….by me. I learned that having a mother with schizophrenia and a father who did not finish 8th grade was a way for me to understand and connect to some people who struggled with mental illness and poverty. I learned that my stories of loss created more compassion and empathy for others experiencing loss.

I learned to forgive for things that had happened to me, as I told my story to myself first, and saw that God worked in many ways to help me to become a new person despite what I saw as significant limitations. I learned that my story when told to others helped me and God within me to be known and not hidden. It helped me to be free.

It is important to understand the sometimes telling your story will take time, and may uncover events that are hard to process due to the pain that occurred from them. I would encourage you not to give up, but to take that uncovering as a motivation to find someone trustworthy such as a counselor or pastor to work thru those parts of your story, so that you can find healing and vitality.

 

Some great ways to start discovering your story.

1. Get a piece of long paper (newsprint roll, parchment roll), and draw a line down the center to form a timeline.
   1. Start by going back to your earliest memory and write the fact of that memory above the line and the approximate age/year
   2. Below the line and in conjunction with the above memory try to remember the feeling and describe the emotion that it brings or brought
      1. Take your time this is not a race. Usually as you write other memories will come to light (sometimes even days later)
   3. For many people this is enough to formulate their story, but I would encourage you to take it further with 2 other methods
      1. Write out what happened and your perceived effects  
      2. Speak it out loud like your telling the story to someone else (there is something that happens when we here ourselves say the words)
      3. If you like to draw then draw out events that seem important to you.
2. Ask some important questions about your story
   1. What if part of this story or all of it could help one person?
   2. Who would I not tell this story to and why?
   3. Who would this story be right for (who might it help)?
   4. What would happen if it changed someone else’s life and gave them a chance to feel free and known?

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